It doesn't really feel like sick, so I'm hoping for an iron deficiency. Easily diagnosed, easily treatable.
It would also explain the deadly-strong cravings I've been having for meat. The last of these was a half nightmare-half craving which involved me and the household fish, Michael Jackson:
My grandmother had a fantastic Norwegian friend who one day came over and remarked at the koi pond "Good! They'll be ready in time for Christmas!". Apparently, in Norway, it's tradition to raise koi and eat them during the holidays.
Michael Jackson is not that kind of fish.
The entire disturbing series of cravings was enough to convince me that my body had a real need going on, and so the next day, I broke 14 years of vegetarianism and split chicken wings with Brenna. To be fair, these were no normal chicken wings. They come from Pok Pok, one of Portland's best Thai restaurants, and they were the dish that originally made me ponder a return to omnivorism, six long months ago.
Returning to meat with chicken was fitting, really, since it was my pet chicken Goldie that made me give up the whole deal when I was seven. In a way, one bite bridged the infinite days between that time and now, in the shocking familiarity of that chicken wing. I've always said that I'd forgotten what it tasted like, to the point that veggie sausage tasted no different to me than how I remembered the real, but that's now been proven untrue. It seems that there's always a way to return home, to the instinctual eating circle that ancestors upon ancestors lived in.
So, here's to hoping it's about the iron (or something even easier to deal with). I went to the doctor today, so I might have things figured out by as soon as tomorrow.
In the meantime, I'm finding things that I love despite being curled up on my couch most of the last week. I ate a really nice dinner on our porch tonight (quinoa, avocado, and nori again- yum!), and watched a little girl on a bike go in circles around the block.
She'd made it around fifteen or twenty times by the time I was done. We've got a pretty decent neighborhood, with pretty decent neighbors, and I've got a nifty little website, and solid people around me. Life is good, dizziness be damned.